Am I Too Young For Marriage? Here's The Bitter Truth No One Tells You

"Am I Ready For Marriage?”

As someone in their 20s, with marriage and relationships all around you, this is a question that has probably crossed your mind. This is something you might have discussed with your friends.

If you have been pondering about the signs that you’re ready for marriage, or rather, how to know if you are, you might be asking the wrong question.

The question “Are you ready for marriage" frames marriage readiness as a yes or no thing. As if it’s black or white; either you are ready or you are not.

But that’s not the case.

You can be physically ready for marriage, but maybe not mentally. You might be financially ready for marriage, but practically not.

Hence, the real question is...
How ready are you for marriage?

You might be thinking:
"I'm too young to think about love and marriage right now."

Okay, at 20, you might be too young to get married, but are you too young to think about love and marriage? Are you too young to prepare for one of the most important decisions of your entire life?

Just like you are old enough to recruit a co-founder and launch a million-dollar company, you are also old enough to prepare to recruit your future partner-in-life.

Here is a bitter truth your well-intentioned friends and influencers might not tell you:

If you think that you are too young to think about recruiting your future partner-in-life now, in your early 20s, then you might wake up one day and think that you are too old to even try.

That is not just my opinion. That is the reality of many single women in their late 20s and 30s who did not know this fact:

By age 25, 1 out of 4 single men, and by age 30, 1 out of 2 single men have already said "I do." [1]

Does that mean you rush to get married prematurely? Nope. That would be a mistake.

Because there is such a thing called getting married too early. It is one of the reasons why 1 out of every 3 Muslim marriages ends up in a divorce. [2]

On the other hand, is there such a thing called getting married too late? Well, if you want a DINK marriage, then it does not matter.

DINK means Double Income No Kids, by choice.

But if you want to experience motherhood in the future, and depending on how many children you want, then yes, getting married too late is something many women regret. [3]

The good news is: there is a middle path. It is called your “Marriage Sweet Spot”.

Which means:

(a) avoiding getting married too early or too late, and

(b) finding a healthy balance between pursuing your goals and building the family you want.

Even if you do not know your Marriage Sweet Spot yet, this is your invitation to start thinking about it now.

I invite you to write your own love story.

If you have been searching for how to know if I am ready for marriage,

take the Marriage Ready Quiz to find out where you stand today, so you know which areas to focus on before you take the next step.

Watch the full episode on YouTube:

Love Mistakes Chapter 3: Am I Too Young For Marriage?

References:

1 National Survey of Family Growth (2019). Probability of First Marriage.
cdc.gov/nchs/nsfg/key_statistics/m-keystat.htm#marriageprobability

2 Noha Alshugairi (2010) Marital Trends in the American Muslim Community: A Pilot Study, Journal of Muslim Mental Health, 5:3, 256-277. doi.org/10.1080/15564908.2010.551275

3 Adachi, T., et al. Regret over the delay in childbearing decision negatively associates with life satisfaction among Japanese women and men seeking fertility treatment: a cross-sectional study. BMC Public Health 20, 886 (2020). doi.org/10.1186/s12889-020-09025-5